Parenting is an Art. Being a good parent requires conscious efforts to mould your child in the right direction. What parenting skills works for one child may not work for the other as each child is different.
No parent is perfect. Same way no child is perfect. A parent requires learning constantly from the child and accordingly changing the parenting style as needed. Here are a few parenting skills which will help you further.
1) Show your love
Show your love. Showing your love will not spoil your child but instead make him calm, secure and emotionally stable. Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.
2) Appreciate the positive behavior and not focusing on his negative behavior
Focus more on positive behavior that the negative. The more you scold or punish the child, more likely the child will repeat the negative behavior. Effective parenting is noticing the child’s positive behavior and appreciating it daily whenever they see it.
3) Yelling or spanking the child does not help
When we yell at the child he repeats the negative behavior. As he starts believing that he is a bad boy who gets scolded and punished. So he is not motivated to change his behavior.
Secondly when we spank the child he will start to lie as he does not want to get caught and get the spanking. Also he learns violence as a solution to solve the problem. Children then act out this behavior on other children.
So besides spanking, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, time-out, etc. You can choose the non-punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
4) Modeling
Practice what you preach. Children are good observer and they do what they see you doing. Children imitate the action so practice whatever you want the child to learn from you. So respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow your footsteps.
5) Set boundaries
Parents have to set certain rules and regulations. The child feels safer and more secure knowing what he is and isn’t allowed to do. Set clear boundaries, those based on your child’s best interests rather than trying to please him or avoid tantrums. As uncomfortable as it may feel to put your foot down and be firm on what boundaries you have set.
6) Give the child household responsibilities
Give the child responsibilities as he learns a lot of life lessons like co operation, hard work, being responsible by doing the duty. People who learn such lessons early in life are more likely to become well-adjusted adults, confident and happier.
7) Avoid helicopter parenting by taking your child’s responsibility
When you do the work what the child is supposed to do he tends to be less responsible and less confident. The child has to learn to be confident, responsible, having problem solving skills, knows what failure is in his adult life. So as parents let him make decision, let him face failure so that he will be more responsible in his adult life.
8) Positive Parenting
The babies have 100 billion neurons that is brain cells which are not connected. The connection happen with the kind of experience the child gets.
As parents we have to give positive experience in form of singing, tickling the child, going to the park, laughing with your child, solving a problem together with a positive attitude.
Negative experiences will not help for the development of the child.
Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for life.
9) Communicating with the child
When the communication with the child is open, the child will share his worry and problems with you. Talk the troubling experience without giving any suggestion. Ask about how he felt in the overall troubling experience he faced. Be a good listener and ask question which will help them to integrate and solve the problems they face.
10) Spend time with the child
Usually parents want their child to be responsible, caring, compassionate, independent, having meaningful relation with you, living a happy and fulfilling life. How much time are you spending with your child to achieve all these goals?
Instead of spending a lot of time on daily routine, spend time with your child. Father also has to spend quality time with the child.
11) Build a strong relation with your spouse
Usually when the child is born you get less time to spend with your spouse. Take good care of your relation with the spouse. Also take good care of yourself physically and mentally. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too. As children from low-conflict families are happier and more successful in the long run, as compared to children from high-conflict families.
Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth
