COMMUNICATION A GATEWAY TO OPENING UP

There was a second standard child who came to me for counseling for academic issues. While talking the child revealed to me that, “My father does not say anything once he is home. He does not ask me ‘How am I?’ or ‘How was my day’. Instead he just switches on the TV and watches TV once he is home. I really don’t like this. I want that he should talk to me. “

This is what many children might be facing. As parents we get so busy in our daily routine and mobile phone, TV that we don’t remove time to communicate with our child.

Many a times the child needs to be proved by you in order that they can share what is happen in their inner world, what they are thinking and feeling. This will not only help them to express their emotions but also improve your bonding and relation with him.

The effective communication happen when each party involved hears and understands the perspective of other person. Adults do most of the talking and children do not know when to share their perspective.

To start the real communication with the children these are the tips what the adult has to follow.

      1)      Create a safe environment

When you sense that the child need to talk give your full attention. Face them, have a eye contact and kneel down if needed to have same level eye contact. Make the child feel that you are really interested in talking to them.

       2)      Switch off all devices

While communicating with your child TV, Mobile phone, computer needs to be switched off. Set a rule that after dinner or one hour before bed time no mobile phone or TV usage will be allowed. Show that through your verbal and non verbal language that the child’s conversation is important and this will improve the self esteem of the child.

       3)      Pick up on emotions and question him

When you see a particular emotion in words or body language, attend that feeling. This makes them feel that you are aware about their feeling. You might say, “You are angry as I didn’t allow you to go out in the party.” This allows the child to clarify how they feel and prompt more conversation.

       4)      Just listen with no correction

Listen to them fully when the child is expressing themselves. Resist correcting them even when you know they are wrong. This acknowledges the child’s feeling and gets them to talk. When you hear them they will cooperate more rather than just correcting them.

       5)      Scolding the child does not work instead focus on the behavior

 Shaming the child diminishes their worth. The child playing with paper ball in the restaurant can be explained in about his inappropriate behavior rather than getting angry at him. When you shame the child he feels defective. With encouraging and supportive instructions the child can correct his behavior.

      6)       Let them think about solutions

When child disagrees on a particular decision, ask him what other option is available and what he wants to change. If the solution what he comes up is reasonable let them try it. When we encourage our children to become part of the solution, they often have greater motivation for resolving it.

      7)      Show interest

Talk to them about their school, their friends this will show them that you are interested in their world and keep the conversation open. Show interest in their hobby. Be a part of their daily activities and routine.

      8)      Reframe the sentence what the child has said

This will help to avoid misunderstandings. As misunderstandings is a hindrance in effective communication. If you are not sure what a child means by something, take a few moments to ask and continue to practice this step until you have a clear idea of what is being said.

 9)      Establish the boundaries

Children need boundaries to feel safe and secure. Setting boundaries gives children the freedom to make their own decisions without constantly needing to consult others.

When communicating with children is that even though they are young, they are individuals who deserve your respect, care and attention. You will, play a key role in the adult that they will become.

Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth