MOULD YOUR CHILD WITH EFFECTIVE PARENTING SKILLS

Parenting is an Art. Being a good parent requires conscious efforts to mould your child in the right direction. What parenting skills works for one child may not work for the other as each child is different.

 No parent is perfect. Same way no child is perfect. A parent requires learning constantly from the child and accordingly changing the parenting style as needed. Here are a few parenting skills which will help you further.

      1) Show your love

Show your love. Showing your love will not spoil your child but instead make him calm, secure and emotionally stable. Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.

      2) Appreciate the positive behavior and not focusing on his negative behavior

Focus more on positive behavior that the negative. The more you scold or punish the child, more likely the child will repeat the negative behavior. Effective parenting is noticing the child’s positive behavior and appreciating it daily whenever they see it.

       3) Yelling or spanking the child does not help

When we yell at the child he repeats the negative behavior. As he starts believing that he is a bad boy who gets scolded and punished. So he is not motivated to change his behavior.

Secondly when we spank the child he will start to lie as he does not want to get caught and get the spanking. Also he learns violence as a solution to solve the problem. Children then act out this behavior on other children.

So besides spanking, there are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, time-out, etc. You can choose the non-punitive discipline method that works best for your child.

      4) Modeling

Practice what you preach. Children are good observer and they do what they see you doing. Children imitate the action so practice whatever you want the child to learn from you.  So respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow your footsteps.

      5)  Set boundaries

Parents have to set certain rules and regulations. The child feels safer and more secure knowing what he is and isn’t allowed to do.  Set clear boundaries, those based on your child’s best interests rather than trying to please him or avoid tantrums. As uncomfortable as it may feel to put your foot down and be firm on what boundaries you have set.

      6)  Give the child household responsibilities

Give the child responsibilities as he learns a lot of life lessons like co operation, hard work, being responsible by doing the duty. People who learn such lessons early in life are more likely to become well-adjusted adults, confident and happier.

      7)  Avoid helicopter parenting by taking your child’s responsibility

When you do the work what the child is supposed to do he tends to be less responsible and less confident. The child has to learn to be confident, responsible, having problem solving skills, knows what failure is in his adult life. So as parents let him make decision, let him face failure so that he will be more responsible in his adult life.

       8) Positive Parenting

The babies have 100 billion neurons that is brain cells which are not connected. The connection happen with the kind of experience the child gets.

As parents we have to give positive experience in form of singing, tickling the child, going to the park, laughing with your child, solving a problem together with a positive attitude.

Negative experiences will not help for the development of the child.

Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for life.

       9) Communicating with the child

When the communication with the child is open, the child will share his worry and problems with you. Talk the troubling experience without giving any suggestion. Ask about how he felt in the overall troubling experience he faced. Be a good listener and ask question which will help them to integrate and solve the problems they face.

      10)  Spend time with the child

Usually parents want their child to be responsible, caring, compassionate, independent, having meaningful relation with you, living a happy and fulfilling life. How much time are you spending with your child to achieve all these goals?

Instead of spending a lot of time on daily routine, spend time with your child. Father also has to spend quality time with the child.

      11)  Build a strong relation with your spouse

Usually when the child is born you get less time to spend with your spouse. Take good care of your relation with the spouse. Also take good care of yourself physically and mentally. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too. As children from low-conflict families are happier and more successful in the long run, as compared to children from high-conflict families.

Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth 

LIVE LIFE WITH NO REGRETS

I was just watching two kids playing in my building. Both were full of spirit, enjoying riding their cycles without any worry, tension and fear ABOUT FUTURE. Both of them seems to have freedom to enjoy themselves, freedom to laugh, freedom to enjoy the moment, freedom to scream and shout, freedom to JUST BE THEIR OWN SELF.

How many of us are actually enjoying this FREEDOM? In this hustle bustle of life where each individual is running behind money to meet their needs or is behind fame, power, status, position or is cribbing about lack of time.

So when been in the rat race do we actually take care of our body? Do we exercise to keep our body fit? Do we meditate to have a peaceful mind? Do we enjoy the nature? Do we enjoy the little things in life? Do we find time to enjoy with our parents or partner or children?

If the answer to the above questions is NO than what’s the point of this running about. Is this running about going to help when your body will get a disease or your mind will suffer from some mental health issues or when you will not have good relations with your friends, family and children?

What’s the point living such a life? Just imagine a person is very successful in his business but he does not have time for his family, he is stressed out and does not have time for his own recreation.

I am not saying money is not important but having a balance in all the areas of life is important.

If tomorrow was the last day of your life what would you like to do? I am sure the first thing that comes to your mind is spending time with your loved ones.

Why wait for a last day instead LIVE LIFE WITH NO REGRETS EVERYDAY. How would you do that? List is below:- 

      1)     Exercise for Body

We take our body for granted. If the body is healthy then we will be able achieve whatever goals we want to. Exercise can be in form of walking, Surya Namaskar, Yoga, Gym, Aerobic whatever suits you and your body.

      2)    Meditation for Mind

 So after having a sound body, one has to have a sound mind. A sound mind in a sound body. To improve the efficiency of the mind one can meditate 20 minutes or more according to the individual capacity. Deep Breathing exercises or Pranayam like Anulom Vilom and Kapalbhati for 20 minutes works great.

Visualization of your goals can also follow after the Pranayam.

      3)    Early to bed early to rise –

Many a times we feel that I can work better at night so let me stay awake till 2am and finish my work. If this habit can be changed then you will be more successful in your work. As studies show that most successful people wake up early.

So we just need to inculcate the habit to sleep by 10 pm or 10:30pm. Then it will be easy to get up at 4 or 5am.

Benefits will be when others are sleeping you are working. One hour in the morning devote for thinking of the goals and what work needs to be completed throughout the day, then your exercise and meditation routine follows.

      4)    Food

What you eat that’s how your mind will be. So eating habits has to be good so that it will energize your body which helps you throughout the day. Eating breakfast king size, lunch like prince and dinner like a beggar.

       5)    Sleep

When you do what you love, utilize time well, each area of your life is balanced then you will get a good night sleep for sure.

Sleep well for 7 hours minimum. As you body needs that rest to rejuvenate. Your body cells get repaired when you sleep.

      6)    Travel with family

Traveling helps to enhance creativity and acts like a stress buster. To increase the family bond travelling is important. You spend good quality time with your family during this time.

      7)    Be with nature

Nature is made up of 5 elements that are air, fire, earth, water and space. Our body is also made up of these 5 elements. So when you spend time with nature you rejuvenate automatically.

      8)    Help others

When you selflessly help others and bring a smile on others faces that will get immense satisfaction for you. When you want to give it back to the society don’t wait, that once I grow older I will do the charity work that time. Whenever you get time do it now, it can be as simple as giving food to the under privileged on road.

      9)    Live in the present moment

Life will have all the ups and down. Enjoy the ups and during the down enjoy that moment as well. How you get up and move on during the down that is what counts. So enjoy each and every moment.

 10)Do what you love

Your job has to be something that you love to do. So you will not dread to go to work. Also one has to have a hobby which refreshes you. E.g. Dancing, acting, painting etc. Continue to have a hobby in adult life as well.

11)Utilize time
 Utilize each and every minute you never know you will get that time again or not. If you wish to go for a trek just do it. You never know that trail will remain or not in future. So do it anyway. So before it’s too late it’s better to inculcate these habits in our lifestyle. So that when you will be on the death bed at that time you will have no regrets in the way you have lived your life.

12) Purpose of Life
Find out the purpose of your life and direct your goals in that direction. Once you know the reason for your existence it becomes easier to take baby steps towards your purpose and life becomes meaningful and worth living. 

  

#Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth# Love to help people # Feeling Awesome  

MOVE YOUR BUTT and TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES

           It was a bright morning and I had to attend  a meeting at Andheri so I had choosen to travel by train. As in Mumbai, trains are the fastest means of transport. It was 9:15am. When I entered a coach, what I see on the seat? I see a cell phone on the seat. 

          I ignored it and sat on the other side of the seat. As I sat various thoughts started coming up:- 

• Let somebody else take the phone
• Will that person actually return the phone to the owner?
• Let me give it to the cop. 
• Will the cop have that much time to return the cell to the concerned person?

       When I was thinking one other college going girl came and she saw the cell phone. She looked at me and asked whose phone it is? I replied to that I didn't knew. The girl also sat down on the other side. 

      At this point there was a inner voice that told me that, "Rinkal why don't you take the responsibility of giving the cell phone to the concerned person. You don't know whether somebody will actually take the responsibility or not". Immediately I took the phone and tried to open it but it was locked.

      I could not do much but had to wait for a phone call. Till one and half hour nobody called up. I was thinking should I sell the phone and use the money in charity. But I told myself lets wait patiently. 

       I got busy in the meeting and when I returned home at 5:00pm, I decided to call up. The numbers which were not stored in the cell phone luckily was visible in the notification. I felt sorry to increase the owner's anxiety by keeping her waiting till 5pm. 

       There were many calls from one landline number. I called up that number twice nobody picked up. My inner instincts were saying that this is owner let me try once more and YESS somebody picked up. When I told the opposite person has any of  your friend lost her phone? The person on line got very excited and said yes that's me. 

      Collectively we decided a location and luckily the lady's work place was just two minutes away from my house. Also the question was how do I recognize her? On her mobile cover she had printed her picture so it was easy for me to recognize her. The lady thanked me and left with a great smile on her face. 

     As I came home just re thought about the incident and there were so many take aways from it:- 

1) Take responsibility - We need to encourage ourself and the youth to take responsibilities. Avoid the fear of the consequences but just cherish the learning by taking responsibilities. 

2) Important details - Its better not to store important details in the cell phone. Also your family members or your life partner need to be informed about these important details rather than restricting to your own self. 

3) Identity - Whatever will be visible will be sold of well. This you have to remember when you have your own business to attaract your customers. (the lady's picture on the phone helped me to recognize her) 

4) Inner voice- In the hustle bustle of the city life we dont have the time to listen to our inner voice. Inner voice is your true friend and the best guide to help you make your decisions. 

5) Patience is the key - Once you decide on something and after certain time you feel like giving up your goal, wait patiently. Be persistant and you will achieve your target well. 

6) Empathy - Understand how the other person feels by being in his shoes. Help the person in distress. I had lost my two phones so I actually knew how it feels when you loose your phone. 

7) Bring smile - Whenever you see someone needs help, STOP- THINK - ACT. Stop when you see the needy, think how you can help them and act by helping them in any ways. 

#Progressive Youth program # Rinkal Karia # Directional Coach and Guide for Youth# Love to help people # Feeling Awesome